2016 - Saying goodbye to a turbulent year

As most of those who read this, I tend to reflect the most at the end/beginning of a year. We arrange our binders in years and we tend to think chronologically. It's only natural to contemplate more about ups and downs when there is a big cut in that cultural logbook. It asks'what was before?' and 'What will come next?'

I sure as hell didn't write as much as I wanted to. Five blog posts are a measly amount of posts. There are two main reasons - though not excuses:
1) I was really really busy.
2) I am still scared that I have nothing new (or for that exciting) to add to the chorus of creators out there.

Number one is not a problem at all. It just made it obvious to me that I have to step up my game when it comes to my planning skills in the next years. But although I am a wee bit nervous, I also am confident that I will grow into a life with better planning.

Number two is a major issue. 2016 was a better year for me when it comes to social media and I learned a lot by watching how other develop their platforms and fandoms. At the same time I feel tension and hesitation when it comes to putting myself out there.
Why should anybody be interested in what I do? There is already so much stuff out there. Before the summer of 2016, I still had that idea of creating something nobody ever made before...

Which is ridiculous for two reasons.

On one hand I will never find a theme in a medium that nobody ever did think of before....but secondly...when I do it my way, just as it speaks to me, actually, nobody ever did do it like that before because there is nobody exactly like me out there. I'm still getting into this because this asks another "scary" action of myself. Getting in touch with myself and not feel like an egotistical, pretentious prick about it. I put "scary" in quotation marks because there is a shitload of really scary stuff out there in the world, like living in a war zone etc. That shows how relatively easy I feel stupid for getting too deep into own insignificant motifs why I do anything at all.

But there is another reason why I had a hard time convincing myself to write something. There already is so much stuff. Regularly I get overwhelmed by the amount of information waiting for me on social media. Sadly it works like a bag of crisps. You just can not stop until the bag is empty aka. until you read EVERYTHING that happened when you weren't online.
As much as social media can work as a tool for you it also works against you when you fledge from beginner to something more like a pro. Sometimes you need to check what is going on around you and sometimes - as I learned this year - you just have to turn it off. There is a point when you have to put theory into praxis and take a break from taking more stuff in. Letting your brain rest, create boredom to be able to be creative. Just as athletes have to take days off from torturing their muscles to give their muscles time to recover and grow. And then....you have to have balls... to stand out.

Just get out there and quit being afraid!

And with that I'll keep reflecting to myself right now and wish everybody a Happy New Year!

First illustration of the year

To get into the mood I started 2016 with this small illustration of a european robin! There is one of these little fellas visiting and living our garden every winter.

Something old and something new.....

So.....its this special time again...

In the neighbourhood I live and work in it is impossible to miss that the end of the year is close. The frequency of early fireworks (although illegal before New Year's Eve) increases with every passing day in December.

With every pop of firework outside my window I get more conscious about this yearly fix point in time. Unintentionally I start to reflect about the ending year and to ponder about the beginning year. What happened? What were the good things? What were the not so good things? Would I do something differently with the knowledge I have now? How will these things change my behaviour in 2016?

At the end of 2015 I followed some good advice from Vanessa Lemen and Laura Panepinto from Muddy Colors.

"Your art as your voice and mirror" by Vanessa Lemen is a more reflective post and helps to get a new, different view on your art/your life. By looking back on what made an impact on you in 2015 helps you to determine what was/is very important. Writing it down and reading it again after some time gives you a clearer image of events. At the same time you will be challenged to ask yourself some questions to get a totally different view on things.

"How to Get What You Want: Know What You Want" by Laura Panepinto is not only for 'New Year's Resolutions' but you can use this throughout the whole year. It is a good method to concretize your goals. On the one hand will you end up with some workable ambitions (e.g. blog once a week/start an instagram) in contrast to a vague goal (e.g. have more online followers). On the other hand you will get a clear picture what is really important and what is not as important as you always thought it would be.

A third method to end the year on a high note and start the new year very motivated is my 'happy jar'.

I write down all the little and big things that made me happy in at some point and put them in that jar. Each year a new glass. I started this new tradition in 2013 because I tend to lose track of all the things I did or experienced and always feel disappointed when a year ends because I wasn't able to fulfil everything I intended to fulfil - or even if I did everything I intended to do - I still think I could have done more or could have done these things better....
At the end of the year I open that jar... and I get a warm fuzzy feeling that this year wasn't so bad after all ;).


All in all 2015 was a good year. Probably even a very good year! My very first year of working full time as an illustrator and I can't say it was a bad first year!

Taking part in competitions was a big part and although I took part in about 10 bigger competitions/judged annuals/judged exhibitions I won one of them and got into two exhibitions.

Through that I got to know some awesome artists and I hope that I will be just as successful as they are, enjoying my wonderful job together with my loved ones. I got to travel and went on holiday for the first time in 8 years! I grew a shit load of vegetables on my 100m² allotment garden, learned to crochet and to knit...and started a new secret hobby which will stay secret so that nobody can ask me to show them how good I got. Something that I greedily keep to myself, hrhr.


Happy new year to everyone out there. May 2016 be a magical year!