Confessions of an illustrator

Since I wrote about feeling insecure and doubting yourself I thought it maybe time to address how illustrators interact with other people. My view is of course mostly based on my own experiences, feedback by my creative friends and the illustrators/artists I've talked about these experiences. There are however exceptions, so don't think I'd allow myself to think ALL illustrators on this planet feel like this.

If you create art, you have to like spending time with yourself.



Some of us love to paint, draw or write. A big inspiration to write is the fact, that the stories you WOULD have wanted to read, are not out there yet. That's why you write them. Same goes for painting/drawing. The fact that you would rather write/draw/paint than....lets see, go to a big ass party or go rock-climbing or go hiking for days or be a marathon-runner. You write/draw/paint because you feel like it is the best thing to do with your life.
If you paint or draw and pursue it as a professional career it is because you really like doing that. You like making art so much, that you even do it although it can be hard and frustrating at times. In art school I had a time that I got so frustrated by my teachers and assignments, that a friend of mine said 'I don't get it. If you hate making art so much, why don't you stop!?' Fellow artists know what I mean when I told him 'I could never ever do that!!'

Most creatives live in a bubble. It can be hard to grasp why you do what you do for people outside of this bubble. Especially friends and family who have a normal day job have a hard time to understand working freelance, let alone working as a creative freelancer. Sometimes there will be days (or weeks) when things go slow. You finally have a lot of time to work on your personal projects or your website OR to tend to some other things (spring cleaning the house). And then there will be the crazy times, working several client jobs at once, calling non-stop, sending out emails non-stop, being stuck to your phone because you wait for important calls, short nights and ordering take away because you just don't feel like cooking on top of everything else. Sometimes it even means working through the weekend or holidays. Sometimes you will have to cancel a night out with friends because this commission is juicy but sadly has to be done in 2 days (in editorial it's even shorter). Sometimes friends don't understand because 'Your client just can not ask of you to work those crazy times!!? Right!?'
This is only part of it. Living a modest life, so that you don't get into trouble when a client drops you, or working a day job next to your profession are other parts people tend to forget. Not taking part in sports or activities that might endanger your hand/arms/eyes is another consequence of wrapping your life around the fact that you make art. Instead of pursuing these'dangerous activities' you do boring exercises against the inflictions of working as an illustrator.
And although this might sound horrible or weird to some and although others might not understand why you go through with all this when you could just have a normal nine to five job and enjoy holidays and nights/weekends off, you still just LOVE what you do. More than regular work times, more than weekends off, more than being outdoorsy, more than a sport you would like to pursue but is too dangerous for your hands.


(That's me being outdoorsy....)

Something old and something new.....

So.....its this special time again...

In the neighbourhood I live and work in it is impossible to miss that the end of the year is close. The frequency of early fireworks (although illegal before New Year's Eve) increases with every passing day in December.

With every pop of firework outside my window I get more conscious about this yearly fix point in time. Unintentionally I start to reflect about the ending year and to ponder about the beginning year. What happened? What were the good things? What were the not so good things? Would I do something differently with the knowledge I have now? How will these things change my behaviour in 2016?

At the end of 2015 I followed some good advice from Vanessa Lemen and Laura Panepinto from Muddy Colors.

"Your art as your voice and mirror" by Vanessa Lemen is a more reflective post and helps to get a new, different view on your art/your life. By looking back on what made an impact on you in 2015 helps you to determine what was/is very important. Writing it down and reading it again after some time gives you a clearer image of events. At the same time you will be challenged to ask yourself some questions to get a totally different view on things.

"How to Get What You Want: Know What You Want" by Laura Panepinto is not only for 'New Year's Resolutions' but you can use this throughout the whole year. It is a good method to concretize your goals. On the one hand will you end up with some workable ambitions (e.g. blog once a week/start an instagram) in contrast to a vague goal (e.g. have more online followers). On the other hand you will get a clear picture what is really important and what is not as important as you always thought it would be.

A third method to end the year on a high note and start the new year very motivated is my 'happy jar'.

I write down all the little and big things that made me happy in at some point and put them in that jar. Each year a new glass. I started this new tradition in 2013 because I tend to lose track of all the things I did or experienced and always feel disappointed when a year ends because I wasn't able to fulfil everything I intended to fulfil - or even if I did everything I intended to do - I still think I could have done more or could have done these things better....
At the end of the year I open that jar... and I get a warm fuzzy feeling that this year wasn't so bad after all ;).


All in all 2015 was a good year. Probably even a very good year! My very first year of working full time as an illustrator and I can't say it was a bad first year!

Taking part in competitions was a big part and although I took part in about 10 bigger competitions/judged annuals/judged exhibitions I won one of them and got into two exhibitions.

Through that I got to know some awesome artists and I hope that I will be just as successful as they are, enjoying my wonderful job together with my loved ones. I got to travel and went on holiday for the first time in 8 years! I grew a shit load of vegetables on my 100m² allotment garden, learned to crochet and to knit...and started a new secret hobby which will stay secret so that nobody can ask me to show them how good I got. Something that I greedily keep to myself, hrhr.


Happy new year to everyone out there. May 2016 be a magical year!

Competitions - putting yourself out there

Hello everyone! Apologies for my absence lately. I just wrapped up a big project (client work) and will soon get the time to start a couple of new illustrations! Thank you so much for your patience :)

First: I can't believe it has been four months since I wrote my last blog post!!! Time just flew by. Summer is knocking at my door and I hope to be able to write more, since summer is a time without client work. There are many subjects I would like to write about. Just to name a few: “Fake it 'til you make it”, “Two Freelancers living together...madness in a nutshell”, “Refilling your batteries”, “The imposter syndrome” .....

But right now I think it is the time to give you an update about WHY I was absent for four months!!

First I was engaged with clients work which I won't be sharing for different reasons. Second: I am engaged with rebuilding my portfolio. Polishing up some of my scientific work from the last two years and *drum roll* build a new portfolio from personal work for ... eh... hm... illustration. Like....not scientific illustration. Fantasy illustration I guess. In Dutch and German you would call it 'free illustration', which makes no sense in English, since it is just...illustration...without a certain field of expertise. Third: Sending out portfolios and solicitations and finally: Fourth: taking part in competitions.

When I finished my study I made a list of interesting competitions to take part in with my final exam and for future fantasy illustrations. Back then I just randomly googled for illustration competition, design, drawing, painting etc. Now I found a really neat website who does that for you and has a broad variety of competitions for you to chose from:graphiccompetitions.com

Over the last six months I have taken part in six competitions, although I planned to take part in thirteen competitions until this summer. Three of those didn't go through with their annual competition, making it ten. Out of those ten I decided to postpone two until I have better/more fitting work and missed two illustrations due to client work. All in all.... six out of ten in six months is still good. But let's have a look which ones paid of to take part in. I didn't make the first round in two out of those six (one of these did'nt come as a surprise), in one case I made in the 'selected but not hung'-section, in another case my work got in the exhibition, one I made the short list and the last is still pending.

Some of my friends ask my why I would take part in so many competitions. So here is why: Working from home, living in a small, but artistically overcrowded city, I think this is one of the best ways to get my work out there. Not that I would purely rely on taking part in competitions. It is something you can do next to networking and sending out your portfolio. I myself think it is a good way to showcase your work and (which is maybe even more important for me) to up my game. If I don't make the selection it is either because: 1) The quality of my work compared to the other illustration not good enough 2)It is not what the judges were looking for in this competition. The first reason wants me to become a better artist, the second makes me think about my target audience (aka the judges in the competition). But there is a third reason for taking part in competitions: Developing a thick skin for the right moments. I know quite a few people who would get discouraged when taking part in a competition and not making it in the selection, or not winning. Of course I don't like it either. But it makes me realize that it is nothing personal. It is not that the judges didn't 'like' my work (or me for producing it), it is just that there may be 200 or 2000 other works and just 50 will be selected. If there are 500 mermaid illustrations 1500 various illustrations and 50 submissions will be chosen, then it is just pure bad luck that you sent in a mermaid illustration. If there are just 5 mermaid illustration in the 2000 submissions your chances are a lot higher to get in with a mermaid illustration. For some competitions you may even want to develop a good technique how you present and when to send your work, as Dan dos Santos points out in his Muddy Colors blogpost: The Strategy of Submitting to Spectrum.

For those of you who are curious about my competitions and exhibitions: I made the 'selected but not hung' catalogue of the David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation: The Wildlife Artist of the year with this little fella:

I made it into the biennial exhibition of modern birdpainters, the MoVo, in Halberstadt, Germany with my Ara and the Blue heron:

(I just remembered that I didn't post anything about finishing my Green-winged macaw)

I couldn't attend the official opening personally, but a dear colleague, Lisa Pannek, took a picture for me!! - and I feel honoured to have my drawings next to the painting "Montagu`s harrier male preening" made by Paschalis Dougalis!


And I made it on the shortlist for the World Illustrators Award by Association of Illustrators and the Directory of Illustration with the illustrations of my final exam: